I'm a sober 22-year-old, which shouldn't be such a big deal.
I've always disliked drinking. The taste was always bad, and I never felt good afterward. One drink made my face turn hot and pink, and I felt anxious about the possibility of losing control of my evening. Drinks in DC are extremely expensive, and as a grad student who doesn't make that much money, I want to spend only what I enjoy.
My parents never hid alcohol from my brother and me. I remember asking to taste the tiniest sip of wine when I was a kid and hating it. My dad told stories of a time when he got wasted with friends as a 16-year-old, leaving him with a sour taste in his mouth and causing him to not drink even in college. As I became an adult, my family always asked, "When are you going to start drinking?" I didn't feel pressured to drink, but I did feel like a black sheep of the family.
Now, at 22, I identify with the term sobriety. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't really consume any form of substance, even caffeine. I've learned that my body feels better when I am sober, and I love it. I have more fun at events, knowing I will wake up rested the next day and not hungover; I like being someone others can depend on when we go out; I like knowing I can have fun even without substances.
That being said, I've never struggled with addiction before, but when I mention that I don't drink, people often assume that I have a "problem." They apologize for offering me a drink or ask what made me decide to stop drinking. Older adults say I'll grow into drinking.
I wish that people would understand that choosing to live a sober life is not only for people who have struggled with substances before. Sobriety can be for anyone. When I say I don't drink, you should say, "Great, what would you like to have? We have water, lemonade, etc," instead of feeling pity for me. I love the life I have chosen, and I feel grateful that it was an easy choice for me.
Friends should also support and accept others' choices to be sober. I have a close friend whose boyfriend is a bartender at a fancy bar in Chinatown. He knows that I don't really like drinking. A group of us visited during a shift one night and got drinks. I ordered a hot chocolate (a seasonal special) and was having a great time. He came over with three glasses of champagne, pointed to mine, and said, "By the way, this one is non-alcoholic." Without asking, he supported my sobriety in a simple but meaningful way. It wasn't a big fuss or some ordeal. I didn't have to explain why I chose not to drink. It was just nice.
If sobriety is something you have been considering, try it out for a bit. It can be a great way to learn more about yourself and your motives. If you have a friend trying to be sober, support them. Do activities that don't involve substances or help create environments that support those goals. At the end of the day, we are all trying to live the best life we can, and mine is sober.
Additional Resources:
Tom Holland's Conversation about Sobriety and Mental Health (podcast)

